by Kevin Tillman | Sep 11, 2026 | Blog, Thoughts
It was just a Tuesday. Like every other day I was getting ready for work. Tuesday was staff meeting day, so I was moving through the same routine I had followed countless times before. Nothing about that day felt significant. It was just another day. While I was brushing my teeth and looking for a pair of matching socks, little did I know that the world was changing. Then, somewhere during the morning, I turned on the television. Like millions of people across the country, I watched as smoke was pouring from one of the twin towers of the World Trade Center. It was horrible, it was tragic. But, at the time it was just that. My thought process was somehow a commercial airliner had a malfunction, and I was seeing one of the worst tragedies in American history. It was that, but as we now know, it was actually far worse. Like so many others, the weight of the moment turned into an even deeper disbelief and horror. While watching live on television the second plane hit that second tower. Immediately the broadcasters knew, the viewers knew, everyone knew. In that moment, everything had changed. It was just a Tuesday, until it wasn’t just a Tuesday.
The rest of that day saw more and more catastrophe. By the end of the day, two more planes had been hijacked. One hitting the Pentagon. Another being taken down heroically in a field in Pennsylvania. We continued to watch as the towers collapsed. People jumping from the high skyscrapers. Almost 3,000 people lost their lives that day, including so many first responders that intentionally went into the buildings to rescue others. It was just a Tuesday, until it wasn’t just a Tuesday.
That evening people were looking for answers. We were all looking for answers. Where do we go? What do we do now? The country was in shock. All flights had been shut down. Life as we had known it had changed in an instant. That evening the church I served at had an impromptu prayer meeting, as did many other congregations across the country. This was a last minute thing. No time to rehearse songs. No time to prepare sermons. No time to advertise. Besides, what do you say in a time like this? So, we just opened the doors and the altar for prayer. To this day, I believe that is the largest prayer meeting I have attended. Without a doubt it was the most emotional prayer meeting I have attended. I remember tears. Those that weren’t weeping visibly, were most certainly weeping internally. The room was somber. I remember people that never prayed out loud in public, passionately praying to God. No one knew how to say it, but we all felt it. This event, this day was different. No one had answers. No one knew what was next. So, we did the only thing we knew to do… We prayed!
I remember that day. I remember that Tuesday, that wasn’t just a Tuesday. I remember that prayer meeting. Praying was the right thing to do. At the time it felt like the only thing to do. But, here’s the question that comes to mind 25 years later: Why does it so often take a tragedy to bring us to prayer? As we answer that, I admit that crisis prayer is real prayer. We should pray in those times. The Bible is full of people crying out to God when they are in distress. But why does it take these events to bring us to this place of prayer?
A deeper concern is that dependence on God that is awakened by tragedy is often replaced by self-sufficiency when ordinary life returns. This shock of the crisis lasted long enough to fill our pews, but it didn’t last long enough to change our habits. For a few weeks in 2001 we prayed with a desperation for God. Then, life slowly returned to normal, and so did we.
The battle cry of the country over those few months was “Never Forget”. It could be seen on signs, bumper stickers, t-shirts, memorials. It was everywhere. We said it because we meant it. We wanted to honor the sacrifice of those first responders, and remember all of those innocent people who lost their lives. We said “Never Forget” and we meant it. To this day, I would agree that we haven’t forgotten 9/11 and the horror of that day. But, could it be that there are things we haven’t necessarily forgotten, but we no longer allow to shape us? Could it be that we remember the tragedy of that day, but fail to remember the utter dependence on God from that day?
This isn’t just about that Tuesday in 2001. We do this all too often. We cry out to God when the diagnosis comes. We cry out to God when the relationship is on the rocks, or the job is ending. We pray with an intensity in the middle of the storm, but lose our focus when the skies begin to clear.
On this 25th anniversary of 9/11 ceremonies will take place. Names will be read and flags will be lowered. The videos and the images will be broadcast. We should remember. We should honor those lives that were unfairly lost. We should honor those first responders that ran toward danger, and the ordinary citizens that displayed great courage. But, perhaps we should also remember something else. We are still fragile. We are still dependent on the God that holds this world together. We still need Him, and we still need each other.
“Never Forget” should mean more than remembering what happened. It should mean remembering what mattered more than anything else on that Tuesday. We don’t need to wait on the next crisis to pray. Remember now. Pray now!
by Shannon Tillman | Sep 3, 2026 | Blog, Thoughts
I want to share something with you that God showed me as I walked through one of the most difficult seasons of my life. I cried out to God and nothing changed. I fasted, and the situations seemed to only get worse. I held up the promises and yet the enemy’s agenda went forward. Every area of my life was impacted. There was nothing safe, nothing unharmed, nothing that was not permanently traumatized. Each month something terrible happened, to the point that I began to panic when a month was wrapping up. What horrible thing would happen next? My husband and I often just cried together, not having enough energy for words.
I was broken.
In the midst of the heartache, I felt the Lord impress a message on me. It was simple, but profound. And I hope that the simplicity of the words will help you in whatever difficult situation you may be walking through. Here is what I heard from God:
It is time to switch questions. No longer ask “God, why did this happen?”. Instead ask, “God, how do I pray?”
It was a turning point. I will be honest; the switch did not come quickly. Sometimes, I still resort to the first question. But slowly I am learning to seek the guidance of the Lord on how to pray into the situation. Through this, He began taking me to Scriptures to specifically pray over each of the many difficulties we were facing. I compiled a list of over eighty promises. I wrote them on notecards. On extremely difficult days, I would just hold the cards up because I did not even have the emotional energy to pray aloud. But I wanted to show that I still believed the promises were true although my situations continued to spiral out of control.
And I want you to know that the prayers are still not answered. I am waiting. But I have learned to pray like I never knew before. And I wait in trust. Because unknowingly, when I asked God why the situations had happened, I was allowing myself to be open to doubting the goodness of God. Is this not as old as the Garden of Eden? The enemy wanted Eve to doubt God’s goodness, thus making decisions without Him. The enemy wanted me in my pain to resort to my own methods, avoiding prayer. Now, I trust that He allowed the enemy’s attack for a purpose. God does not want bad things to happen but allows them so goodness is achieved in the end.
One of the good things that have come out of the painful situations is that the difficulties taught me to pray. And I know the Lord’s prayer strategy is more powerful than the enemy’s orchestrated assault. And whatever the enemy comes against me with, I know the Lord can show me how to pray. Eventually, I will see the plans of the enemy defeated. God will have victory.
by Shannon Tillman | Aug 27, 2026 | Bible Study, Blog, Thoughts
I was frustrated in my prayer time. I reviewed the promises of God. Many of them started with the basic premise of “The Lord will….”. They were in future tense. I asked the Lord when His promises would become present tense, that I would finally experience the answers. Even better, when would the promises become past tense so that they are shared as a testimony to others. I was reminded again that the eternal God does not have to give me a time frame for answers. (even though each day I hope He does!) Although there is not a time given, there is a guarantee of the end result.
Proverbs 10:28
The hope of the righteous is joy…
Another version translates the verse this way:
Proverbs 10:28
The prospect of the righteous is joy…
At some point, the hope we have in the Lord to answer our prayer requests will lead to joy. It is a guarantee. I am reminded of Sarah and Abraham. They waited twenty-five years for a child of their own. The child was named Isaac which means laughter. They finally had their bundle of joy. The hope, the prospect of each of our prayers is the joy of the Lord. The promise is a guarantee, the answer is wrapped in joy, the results are beyond what we had hoped.
Ephesians 3:20-21
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
Your promise is a guaranteed future of joy. On those days that seem to drag on in time, hold onto the hope of what is to come. Joy!
by Shannon Tillman | Aug 20, 2026 | Bible Study, Blog, Thoughts
While on vacation, I decided to not put limits on myself in any way when it came to junk food. I gorged on ice cream, french fries, chips, soft pretzels, milkshakes, custard, and anything else that looked appetizing. Since coming home, all I want to eat is sugar and carbs. An apple was an enjoyment the week before my trip, now it looks like poison. My desires changed quickly and they are fighting against what I know I should eat but do not want at this moment. Munching on the good food is giving me a bad attitude.
I realize that spiritually there can be drastic changes in desire as well. How do we come back from a lack of passion for the things of God? I think it begins with acknowledgment. Too often, we go through the motions, keeping up pretenses instead of being honest with what is lacking within us. After we do recognize the dullness in our heart, we can begin taking steps toward the Lord again. Psalm 63 gives some insights on how to proceed.
Psalm 63:1
You, God, are my God, earnestly I seek you; I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you, in a dry and parched land where there is no water.
First, acknowledge the relationship: “You are my God”. You are going beyond a formula or program to attach to the Lord, but recognizing that you are in a relationship with Him. Then, seek Him. This takes time and effort. It is prioritizing finding what seems lost. In reality, the Lord never leaves us but due to our own choices a distance may be felt. Seeking Him is choosing to set aside time just with the Lord, removing distractions and focusing on Him.
The seeking of God leads to the revelation of self. The psalmist, in this case David, uses the imagery of being thirsty for God. When we seek the Lord, we realize our need for Him and what is lacking in our lives. Too often, we have filled our time and energy with the “junk food” of the world: media, worry, shopping, hobbies, control, self-absorbed thinking, etc. But when we seek God, we realize that He is truly what we need and all the other desires are making us spiritually dehydrated. The things we thought were filling us are only part of the desert of this world and we need to be rescued.
Psalm 63:2
I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory.
Reminders of the spiritual experiences in our past, help us to regain the desire for connection now. Then, our hearts can once again connect. We are no longer going through the motions but engaging in a present tense relationship.
Psalm 63:4-5
Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands.
The connection has been established. The healing of the heart is reflected by the words of praise on the lips. Outward demonstrations of spiritual connection are apparent, no longer going through the motions but actively engaging in worship.
Psalm 63:5
I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you.
No more junk food here! Worship testifies that the soul is now feasting again on the ways of the Lord instead of being sickened by the things of this world. It all began with a moment of choice. Just like a physical diet starts with a decision so does a spiritual one. The choice must be made, to starve on the world or to feast on the Lord.
by Kevin Tillman | Aug 13, 2026 | Blog, Thoughts
There’s a big difference between knowing about God and knowing God. You can spend years studying the Bible and learn a lot about who God is. You can study His character, learn the theology, even dig into the original languages. All of that is good. We should want to know as much about God as we possibly can. But there are some things about God that you don’t fully understand until you experience them.
There’s a difference between saying, “I know that God is faithful,” and saying, “I know God as faithful.” I can learn about the faithfulness of God in a book or a sermon. But, I may not truly discover what God’s faithfulness feels like until I’m in a hospital room waiting on answers.
I can read what the Bible says about forgiveness. I can study the Greek words and walk through every passage. I can agree with all of it. Then somebody hurts me. Not annoys me. Hurts me. Now forgiveness isn’t just a doctrine I’m studying. It’s something Jesus is asking me to do. That’s different because now it’s personal.
Warren Wiersbe said,
“We do not understand and then obey: that is instruction. We obey by faith, and then we understand: that is illumination.”
I think Wiersbe is pointing out something we can easily miss. The Bible is instructional. We study because we want to understand what God has said. We need sound doctrine. We need good theology. And our experiences should always be measured by the truth of Scripture, not the other way around. But… instruction isn’t where it ends. At some point, we have to live it out. It has to move from what God has said, to what God is saying. That’s where illumination begins.
There’s something interesting about the biblical idea of “knowing”. The Hebrew word often translated “know,” is “yada”, it does refer to knowing information about God, but Scripture also uses it for something much more personal and experiential. To “know” God carries the idea of a relationship and a personal experience.
When the Bible talks about knowing God, we’re dealing with something much bigger than knowing facts about Him. You can know what the Bible teaches about God. You can know the Word and even believe the Word. But, all the while, still be discovering what it means to actually walk with Him.
For instance, maybe you’ve known for years that God provides. You’ve read about God’s provision. You “understand” it. You know Jesus said that your heavenly Father knows what you need. You’ve heard testimonies of God’s provision. You believe every bit of it. Then you find yourself in a season where the numbers don’t work. You’ve run out of pay before you’ve run out of month. You don’t know how the bills are going to be paid. You don’t know where the answer is coming from or when the answer may come. You pray, you do what you know to do, and somewhere in that season you have to depend on God in a way you’ve never had to before.
The doctrine hasn’t changed. But you have. Now when you say, “God is my provider,” there may be something behind those words that wasn’t there before. You know something of God that you didn’t know before you had to trust Him completely.
I think that’s a glimpse of what Wiersbe means by illumination. It’s not a new revelation. God isn’t adding something to extra to the Scripture. It’s more like the truth you’ve read about for years suddenly has weight in your life. Now, that truth you already believed comes alive, because you’ve had to live it out.
John 7:17
“If anyone is willing to do His will, he will know of the teaching, whether it is of God or whether I speak from Myself.”
Notice the order. There is a willingness to do the will of God. Then comes the knowing. We usually want it the other way around. “God, explain everything first. Give me the details. Show me why. Show me how. Show me where this is going. Help me understand, and then I’ll decide whether I’m ready to obey.”
But sometimes understanding comes only after obedience. Think about Abraham. He knew God, but he was asked to take some tough steps of obedience. Each step brought a new level of understanding. First, he had to uproot his family and go to an unknown destination. Over time Abraham got a deeper understanding of God’s guidance and provision. Not by studying, but by experiencing. Eventually he is on a mountaintop with his son Isaac. An altar is waiting. Isaac is about to be sacrificed, until at the last moment a ram appears. God provided! Abraham knew that God would provide. He knew because of knowledge, but he really knew because of past experiences.
These are times in our lives where instruction begins moving toward illumination. Some of the deepest Christians I’ve known weren’t necessarily the people who could explain the complicated doctrines of our faith.. They couldn’t necessarily trace all of Paul’s journeys on a map. They knew their Bible, but there was something else there, they knew the God behind the Bible. That’s different. They had walked with God. They had trusted Him through the tough seasons. They had prayers that weren’t answered the way they wanted. They had times where they couldn’t see what God was doing. They had buried people they loved. They had made decisions that cost them something because they believed obedience mattered. Through all of it, they came to know God. Not just know about Him. Know Him.
To be clear, I don’t think we ever graduate from instruction. There will always be more to learn from Scripture. There will always be places where our theology needs correcting and our understanding needs deepening. But we also don’t want to spend our whole Christian life simply collecting more information about a God who has invited us to walk with Him.
We can know more about God in a Bible Study, but we only truly know God in the lab of experiences. You know about God. But do you know God? Instruction needs to become illumination.
by Kevin Tillman | Aug 6, 2026 | Blog, Thoughts
I often share in my Bible study class my propensity to the sin of approval. It stems from a broken nuclear family. I have often compromised my own self, even God’s commands in order to obtain the approval of others. Many regrets in my life come from living for others instead of living for the Lord. Through many broken relationships, God has slowly entangled me from the obsessive need of other’s approval to living for Him alone. On days I backslide, a verse from Psalm 63 encourages me to repent and live for God once again.
Psalm 63:3
Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you.
The word for “life” in the Hebrew could also be translated in the masculine noun form as “relatives”. Thus, the verse would read: Because your love is better than relatives, my lips will glorify you.
I am not a student of Hebrew, so I do not know if this interchange is possible in this particular instance. However, I know the Lord spoke to me through this new meaning of the word. His love is better than my relatives, my family.
For those of us who have difficult family situations, this verse is comforting. The pain of family drama has taken a toll on me not only emotionally but physically as well. Yet, I alone decided to allow tears to become my way of life and the stress to become my constant companion. I could have chosen differently. I should have believed that the love of God is truly better than the broken family dynamics that kept me walking on egg shells. Unfortunately for me, I sought people instead of the Lord.
People come and sometimes go but amazingly God stays. God is safe, trustworthy, loving, kind, good, faithful, powerful, forgiving, and so much more. People are well, dysfunctional, me included. Our dysfunction can be painful to ourselves and others. When we hope to find eternal love in a temporal person, we will be disappointed, hurt, and even broken. Thankfully, the Lord’s love is better than relatives, better than anything of life. He will be with us even if others harm us or forsake us. God lovingly remains.
I spent many years living for others, only to be left wounded and abandoned. I hope for the rest of my days; I will live for the Lord alone. Truly, His love is better.
