by Shannon Tillman | Aug 7, 2023 | Bible Study
Parents know the way a phrase is said is as important as the words spoken. Children (and adults) can say “I’m sorry” with true repentance or with complete sarcasm. The heart behind the words is as important as the words themselves.
When I was little, I learned to control my tone of voice but would still put my parents down in my head. I would say the right thing but would think what is wrong. For example, I would say “I’m sorry” but then I would finish the sentence in my head “that you are wrong and mean and horrible.” (what every child thinks of their parents!) So, my true heart was saying “I’m sorry that you are wrong and mean and horrible” but my words “I’m sorry” sounded so sweet and true. Or “I think you are right” but in my head think “about nothing at all.” I learned to say what they wanted to hear, with the tone they expected, but my heart was far from repentance. (By the way, do not try this in your home. I was a trained professional of ways to get out of trouble with my parents but it still left me in trouble with God.)
I thought I had invented this trick but came to find out Judas was an expert in this fake words game. Sadly, I must admit, he and I had similar motivations and similar distortions.
Now when evening came, Jesus was reclining at the table with the twelve disciples. As they were eating, He said, “Truly I say to you that one of you will betray Me.” Being deeply grieved, they each one began to say to Him, “Surely not I, Lord?” And He answered, “He who dipped his hand with me in the bowl is the one who will betray Me. The Son of Man is to go, just as it is writing of Him, but woe to that man by whom the Son of Man is betrayed! It would have been good for that man if he had not been born. And Judas, who was betraying Him, said, “Surely it is not I, Rabbi? Jesus said to him, “You have said it yourself.”
Matthew 26:20-25
Jesus has just proclaimed a betrayer in their midst. Stunned the disciples began to ask the Lord if they were the ones who would do so. Amazingly it is in their question that the betrayer is revealed. Eleven disciples called Jesus “Lord.” Only Judas titled Him “Rabbi”. The term “Lord” implies master or leader. The term “Rabbi” means teacher. Judas had delegated Jesus simply as a teacher, a common guy, just like everyone else. Judas missed the divinity of Jesus.
Whenever we lower God into our own image, we justify our actions, justify our sins.
by Shannon Tillman | Jul 24, 2023 | Bible Study
My mind is still reeling from the all of the national tragedies over the last several years. The pictures on the news are horrendous. The pain of those suffering is unbearable. Lives were lost in an instant. And for those who survived, their bodies bear the marks.
I know that often during these disasters, people began to question the goodness of God. After the a shooting several years back, I had a family member remark “It makes one wonder if there could be a God when things like this happen”. As one of the few Christians in my family, I had little words to say back to her. Sure I could have gotten into a debate, but my heart, too, was aching with the questions of “why”. I could still find hope in the character of God but my relative did not have that to rely on. My words would have done little to change her opinion in the face of such horrendous and senseless crime which took so many lives.
For centuries, people have debated the existence of God in the midst of evil. I am not about to engage in that argument here for brilliant minds have tackled this subject and my feeble mind could not do the discussion justice. However, my heart longs for a response to these tragedies. I believe the writer of Hebrews provides that response:
Remember the prisoners, as though in prison with them, and those who are ill-treated, since you yourselves also are in the body.
Hebrews 13:3
The writer of Hebrews was not referring to the prison ministry we think of today, a ministry that reaches out to those who have committed criminal acts. However, this verse was referring to believers who were put in jail because of their faith in Jesus Christ. They were suffering from the brutality of an unjust government. A number of them would have been tortured. Others would have starved unless those outside of prison brought them food. Some would even have faced gruesome executions.
What are we called to do in the face of the suffering of others? Enter theological debates about the goodness of God versus evil? No! We are called to remember them as we would want to be remembered. If I was in prison, I would want others to pray for me, to visit me, to bring me food, to petition authorities for my release, to bring medications to treat my torture wounds, to minister to me in any way they could. Bottom line: I would want to be remembered. I would not want to be forgotten in my painful circumstances.
In the face of these national tragedies, we must remember those as we would want to be remembered. What would you want someone to do for you in your time of tragedy? Do that for them. Remember them.
For those who are in direct contact with the people suffering, they will be able to do more for them to help them during this time of need. But what about those of us who do not know them and have no contact with the people involved?
As I have pondered this verse in context of these horrific situations, I have come up with some things I would want:
- Prayer – Real prayer. Not the “God help them prayer” but people truly interceding on my behalf.
- Contact – Cards or e-mails filled with encouragement and support
- Funds – Money to help with medical bills, counseling, loss of work time, recovery, learning a new way of life, possible legal fees, taking care of my family, etc.
We are called to do more than watch the news. There are certainly other ways we can get involved than just these three. The point is: we must remember those who suffer and remember them in their time of need. In so doing, lives are touched and impacted without having to say a word, without having to discuss God’s role when evil takes place. I am not called to a debate; I am called to make a difference. In the process of making a difference, I answer the debate. For in remembering others, the heart of God is shown to those who are suffering from the effects of evil.
Although it is the wide-scale tragedies which make the news, suffering is all around us. There may be those near you who also need to be “remembered”. As you minister to them in their time of pain, as you bring God’s heart near to their hearts, you will fulfill the second greatest commandment:
You shall love your neighbor as yourself.
Matthew 22:39 b
Remember them as you would want to be remembered.
by Shannon Tillman | Jul 10, 2023 | Bible Study
Have you ever been to a prayer meeting? I have been to a number of them in my days. There have been prayer requests from Aunt Martha’s bunion on her left big toe to serious requests for needed intervention. I will be honest, sometimes I have been attentive to joining others in prayer and other times my mind has been preoccupied with pulling lint off my sweater. (I am easily distracted.)
Not too long ago, I was awakened to a prayer request made by Jesus. It was a passage of Scripture that I had read many times. In fact, I had read it too many times but never really paid attention to what the words were saying to me. One day, I was reviewing a lesson that I had prepared for a group of highly energized elementary-aged children as well as their over-worked college camp counselors. That was when I was struck by these well-known, often-quoted verses that I probably have heard dozens of times while picking lint off my sweater:
Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness. When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.”
(Matthew 9:35-38)
Did you catch that last sentence? Jesus is sharing His prayer request. In the middle of Martha’s bunion and the upcoming surgery list Jesus raises His hand in prayer meeting and shares, “Please ask God for workers.” What kind of workers? Those who see the needs around them and respond to them. That kind of worker.
Often, the only time I hear these verses is when there is a call for missionaries to a foreign field. I am not criticizing their use at those times. However, Jesus made this prayer request in His home nation, while looking at His own countrymen. I think it is easier for us to want someone to get the “call” for over there, far from here, in a land far, far away (like in another galaxy). Yet, we forget the call is for us today right where we are.
The morning I was studying the lesson in which these verses leapt of the page, was the day I was teaching a group of elementary children that they ARE missionaries. Not that one day they will be missionaries. But today, in their homes, in their schools, on the playgrounds, on the sport teams; they are missionaries. If you are a believer in Christ, then you are on mission with Christ. And Jesus is saying:
“Look around you. There are people hurting. They need people to reach out to them. Pray for more people to see themselves as the answer to My prayer request.”
My elementary missionaries were taught a cheer to remind them of the truth of their commission in Christ:
Who’s a missionary? I’m a missionary. You’re a missionary. We’re the missionaries of God.
I needed that cheer more than they did. I needed to be reminded that it is not about me going to a remote village in Africa to answer the prayer of Jesus. I can be worker right where I am at for the harvest is plentiful here. I know of those who are:
…harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.
But I know the Shepherd. And He has called this sheep to go to the other sheep who need to know the Shepherd. Dear sheep, Jesus has called you as well. Answer His prayer request. Be a worker in whatever city you are in. For every place on earth is the Lord’s harvest field.
by Shannon Tillman | Jun 26, 2023 | Theology
My grandmother and I were sitting in a doctor’s office when I saw Jesus. I did not actually witness Jesus dressed in a white robe and wearing some cool sandals, although I did see a lady wearing rope sandals which I could not imagine how they could be comfortable. No, the “Jesus” I saw was a woman wearing non-flattering scrubs with tennis shoes. But she did remind me of Jesus.
It all began when an elderly lady was wheeled from a nursing home van into the lobby. She looked to be well over a hundred, wearing her Mumu and sporting comfortable slippers (I wish I knew the woman’s age. I would like to find out when I can wear slippers out of the house and no one thinks it is out of place.) She was brought in and set in a space that would accommodate her wheelchair. She just sat with her eyes closed, not making a sound. The worker from the nursing home went to sign her in and complete paper work. Upon finishing the tasks, the nursing home attendant went and sat by the elderly lady in the wheelchair. The worker gently put her hand on the woman’s arm. The woman in the wheelchair blinded by age, smiled and said, “I did not know anyone was with me.” She seemed so appreciative to have someone nearby and asked, “Who are you?” The worker in the scrubs and tennis shoes simply answered, “It’s me, Sam.” The elderly adult smiled and responded, “Oh, Sam.” And then she began to chat happily with the attendant she obviously knew well.
Tears came to my eyes at the tender exchange. My mind flooded to times in my life when I felt alone, physically unwell, confused, disoriented. But suddenly my heart would feel a gentle touch followed by inaudible words, “It’s me, Jesus.” As I am reminded by His presence I can smile and share my heart, my burdens with Him for I am not alone. No, I cannot actually see Him, but just like the woman in the wheelchair, to know someone who cares for you is with you, it makes the difficult circumstances easier to bear.
He Himself has said, “I will never desert you, nor will I forsake you…
Hebrews 13:5b
I have heard this verse so often that I forget the wonder of it all. The Lord God Himself is with me. He encourages, strengthens, comforts, rejoices, mourns with me. I am not alone. This verse is quoted without context so often that we may forget the purpose of why it was shared with us. Jesus wants us to know that He is always with us so
…that we confidently say, “The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid. What will man do to me?
Hebrews 13:6
A woman in a wheelchair had confidence in facing the doctor because Sam was with her. We have confidence to face any situation, whatever it may be, for the Lord who will not forsake us, will also help us. His presence and His power are constant variables in our lives.
As I sat there in the doctors’ office, facing some new circumstances in regards to my grandparent’s health, Jesus gave me a vivid picture of His encouraging presence as I navigate through this difficult time. “It’s Jesus. I am with you. I will not leave you. I will help you.” He is my confidence and He let a sweet nurse attendant remind me of this in a vivid way.
by Shannon Tillman | Jun 12, 2023 | Thoughts
I finally could not take it anymore. My fatigue issues just lasted too long. It has been since childhood, something hereditary, cursed genes from my maternal side. Poor thing, she alone can relate to the struggle. Usually after my mom and I discuss our frustrations with this unresolved medical issue, we both just want to take a nap! After years of dealing with being tired, I took matters into my own hands.
The decision was perfectly understandable (at least in my not so humble opinion). The doctor said there was no more she could do; she had tried everything she could. Not only that, I have friends in my sphere who live like jack rabbits on heroine which adds to my frustrations because they make me tired just talking to them, much less trying to keep their pace. My life may be taking a new direction which will involve energy, a lot of energy, too much energy. I wish I could take a nap right now since I am worn out from thinking about it. So, I did the only logical course considering my situation: I drank caffeine.
Side note here: I am allergic to caffeine. That’s right, you coffee-addicts, I can’t even stand to be within blocks of a Starbucks for the smell itself makes me nauseated. I could never do that cool thing of hanging at a coffee house listening to music for it would make me sick, literally, and my quaint flavored water just did not help me stay awake.
Out of desperation, I put the water down and tried something new. I was tired of being tired. I prayed for healing. I sought medical help. I read articles. I tried some strange herbs and other alternative methods. (Some of them were weird, weird, weird. Did I mention weird?) Nothing worked. So, I decided to try what 99.9% of other Americans do to give themselves a “pick-me up”. I turned to caffeine.
I wanted to make the caffeine leap with baby steps so I did not drink coffee. It was an all–natural tea, seemingly nothing to worry about. That is until about twenty minutes after consumption. My head began throbbing. My arms began shaking. My stomach did flip-flops. I went into all-out food poisoning and spent hours regretting that one small glass of caffeinated tea. (If the tea is so natural, then why is my body acting so unnaturally?)
As the food poisoning took its course, the bathroom became my habitat. I was miserable. I was not only in bad condition physically but emotionally as well. I just wanted to feel normal. I desired to have one day to not be overwhelmed to finish tasks, to get work done without a needed nap, to start and finish a whole project, to… You get the picture. Instead, I was hanging in my bathroom.
While bonding with the porcelain throne, God spoke to me. I am amazed He speaks but much less when I am in the bathroom. I guess He knew He had my undivided attention at that moment. I felt Him say, “Why don’t you just accept your limitations?” Tears came to my eyes, while a verse flooded my heart:
My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.
(2 Corinthians 12:9b)
Then, I began to speak to myself in third person. Why? I have no idea, but sometimes it helps me process. Plus, who else can you process with when you are in the bathroom? Shannon, why don’t you just accept your fatigue? Why are you trying to fix it? God has allowed that into your life. He ordained it for you. Maybe, like Paul, the weakness is for your good:
To keep me from becoming conceited…there was given me a thorn in my flesh a messenger of Satan, to torment me.
(2 Corinthians 12:7a, c)
Could it be that the weakness, the one thing I hate, the one part of me physically that has plagued me from childhood, which has seemed to limit me so much in terms of “accomplishments”, may be the one thing that has saved me? Is it possible that fatigue protected me from the worse part of myself? What if it were not given to me? What if I had been a jackrabbit on heroine myself? Would my energized to-do lists actually only have served to drive me away from God instead of to Him? Paul understood that the weakness left, the weakness not removed, actually enabled him to gain, not lose, life.
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest in me. That is why, for Christi’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
(2 Corinthians 12:9b-10)
In the bathroom, I realized my fatigue was not an issue in need of a remedy but a place to find grace. That grace mixes with my weakness and produces the power of God at work in and through me. I had tried to settle with so much less with my caffeinated tea mix (which tasted horribly, by the way). In my desire for a solution, I had missed the grace.
Weaknesses can come in multiple ways: physically, emotionally, intellectually, relationally, or circumstantially. What is that part of your life you wish you could change? How have you been attempting to “fix” it? Could it be that God is saying, “Why don’t you just accept your limitations?” He wants to extend grace, right there, to that weakness. We may never know how that weakness possibly saved us. However, we can know His power in that place. For with Him, our weakness becomes the place of grace. Caffeine cannot make that kind of promise! And neither can any of your “so-called” solutions. Accept the weakness. Accept the grace, even if it is found in the bathroom!
