by Kevin Tillman | May 7, 2026 | Bible Study, Blog, Thoughts
Over the last few weeks, as we’ve gone through our latest sermon series, I’ve thought a lot about how good people have become at hiding. Good people .. the type that have been in church a long time. They aren’t necessarily hiding from God, but from each other. Most people, especially seasoned church-goers know how to function while carrying a lot internally. We go to work, we answer texts, we show up at church every week, and we even laugh at the right moments, we just keep moving through life… all while something underneath is unsettled.
This latest series felt important to me not because these struggles are rare, but because they’re common. Almost painfully common. We all have stuff we are dealing with, and we’ve become too accustomed to hiding it.
Anxiety has become so normal that many people don’t even recognize how weighed down they are. Their mind is constantly running. There’s always something sitting in the background. That pressure that doesn’t go away. Even during moments that are supposed to feel restful, their thoughts keep moving. It’s the proverbial hamster wheel analogy.
Then there are the things people carry from years ago that somehow still feel like they are happening today. That shame and regret that just keeps lingering. Time passes, but certain moments still feel emotionally present. A person can know God forgives them and still quietly live as if they owe something for who they used to be. Shame has a way of handcuffing us from living in the present. It’s hard to live in joy while burdened by past failures.
And disappointment… honestly, that one probably sits deeper than most people care to admit. Especially when faith is involved. It’s one thing to be disappointed in life. It’s another thing to feel confused about what God allowed. Most believers eventually go through a season where reality doesn’t line up with what they were hoping and praying for. Those moments can either deepen our faith or slowly erode it depending on how we walk through them. A lot of people become guarded after enough disappointment. They’re not rebellious. They just stop expecting much because disappointment feels exhausting after a while. Past disappointments keep us from hope.
And somewhere underneath all of that is this other question many people wrestle with quietly: “What am I even supposed to be doing with my life?” It’s not some oscar-worthy moment where we break down in tears. Usually it’s just a quiet tension underneath. We feel that we just haven’t lived up to our potential. We start asking ourselves questions: Am I moving in the right direction? Am I wasting time? Am I missing something God wants for me?
The older I get, the more I realize most people are not looking for a perfectly mapped-out future nearly as much as they’re looking for reassurance that their life matters and that God has not forgotten them. We all need to remember that God is not absent in the middle of human struggle. He’s not distant. He’s present right in the middle of the chaos. He’s present in the middle of your confusion. He’s present while you are still trying to figure things out. He’s present while the prayers are still unanswered. He’s still present even while you are trying to recover emotionally from something you never expected to carry this long.
I think sometimes we imagine spiritual growth as becoming emotionally untouchable. Like maturity means you never wrestle, never question or feel overwhelmed again. Like we somehow put on the “SC” Super Christian cape and outfit. But Scripture doesn’t really teach that. Some of the people God used for the biggest assignments still walked through fear, uncertainty, grief, frustration, and even exhaustion.
What changed them was not pretending those things didn’t exist. It was continuing to bring those things to God instead of running from Him. It’s so important to be reminded of this. A lot of people are tired. I hear it all the time. They aren’t just tired physically. It’s a deep down tired. It’s an emotional level tired that lingers, and tired people often start believing things that aren’t true. They start believing they’re stuck, or even worse disqualified from being used by God.
But God is still working, and growth rarely feels dramatic while it’s happening. I truly believe God’s best work happens gradually. It’s a quiet growth that you don’t even recognize until much later in life.
Whatever you may be struggling with today… God is with you. Not that polished version of you, but the real version of you that is a work in progress. After all, that’s what we all are… a work in progress.
by Shannon Tillman | Apr 30, 2026 | Bible Study, Blog, Thoughts
When my friend texted asking for prayer, I knew before she even told me what was going on that her one relative was back in town. This family member has been creating painful, wicked, and divisive drama for years. My friend was desperate and asking for prayer AGAIN. We have prayed and prayed and nothing has happened for so long. I could hear her discouragement. I could hear the anxiety of what this person would do this time around. I could hear the questions of “God, will You finally intervene?”
That same morning, I had read this passage, which I sent to her. It was not the normal “Hang in there” message, or a cliché “God will work it out”. Instead, it was a passage of violence.
Isaiah 63:1-6
Who is this coming from Edom, from Bozrah, with his garments stained crimson? Who is this, robed in splendor, striding forward in the greatness of his strength? “It is I, proclaiming victory, mighty to save.” Why are your garments red, like those of one treading the winepress? “I have trodden the winepress alone; from the nations no one was with me. I trampled them in my anger and trod them down in my wrath; their blood spattered my garments, and I stained all my clothing. It was for me the day of vengeance; the year for me to redeem had come. I looked, but there was no one to help, I was appalled that no one gave support; so my own arm achieved salvation for me, and my own wrath sustained me. I trampled the nations in my anger; in my wrath I made them drunk and poured their blood on the ground.”
These verses depict a gory scene of destruction. The Messiah, the One who is mighty to save, caused the havoc. He trampled the nations who came against Israel. He waged the war alone for none could help. His clothes were stained with the blood of the enemy. When I read this passage of war, I felt the Lord say, “Deliverance is messy.”
We are in a war. Peel back behind what is seen on this earth and the reality of a terrible spiritual war becomes painfully evident. Demons are raging against people; wanting to steal, kill, and destroy. They do not want to lose their territory in our lives. The battle is vicious. There are times that the deliverance from evil is a huge mess. Yet, the mess is not ours to fix. Jesus fights for us. Jesus fights for you. The fight takes time. He trampled the enemy but it was not in just a moment. Over time, He waged war until victory was complete.
Jesus is our warrior. Whatever is coming against you, know that He will win the fight. It is not in our time, or in the way we expect, but He will be victorious. It may be messy along the way, but victory will come. And when it does, we will praise His name:
Isaiah 63:7
I will tell of the kindnesses of the Lord, the deeds for which he is to be praised, according to all the Lord has done for us— yes, the many good things he has done for Israel, according to his compassion and many kindnesses.
Jesus, our warrior, the Messy Deliverer, is worthy of praise because He truly has done many good things for us. He has rescued us and will deliver us. Soon, we will see His complete victory in our lives.
by Shannon Tillman | Apr 23, 2026 | Bible Study, Theology, Thoughts
The moment probably replayed in his head. The segment in time had been divinely orchestrated to cut to the core of his soul. If it had been merely an acquaintance, the meeting would have been embarrassing, even painful. But this was his best friend. The agony of the encounter would never be forgotten. The event began in a moment of fear and confusion which led to hasty words.
Luke 22:54-57
Then seizing him, they led him away and took him into the house of the high priest. Peter followed at a distance. And when some there had kindled a fire in the middle of the courtyard and had sat down together, Peter sat down with them. A servant girl saw him seated there in the firelight. She looked closely at him and said, “This man was with him.” But he denied it. “Woman, I don’t know him,” he said.
Jesus had been arrested only a few hours earlier. Frightened, the disciples had all abandoned Him in the garden. Peter picked up small pieces of courage and decided to follow at a distance. This could be costly. As a follower of Jesus, he could be arrested and suffer the same fate. Peter took the risk and entered the courtyard of the high priest. He hoped to just mingle by the fire, not taking the risk of conversation. The servant girl’s accusation startled him. Peter answered with a denial of knowing Jesus. His heart surely pounded while the words tumbled out with fear. He thought the discussion would end there, but more followed.
Luke 22:58
A little later someone else saw him and said, “You also are one of them.” “Man, I am not!” Peter replied.
Imagine being pointed out again in a crowd that could easily turn hostile. He was in the courtyard of the high priest, the main orchestrator of the events leading to the arrest of Jesus. Peter was seated amongst temple workers who would willingly turn him in. Once again, Peter denied knowing Jesus. Peter, the one devoted to Jesus so much that he risked his life to be in the courtyard, proceeded to tell the people that he was not one of the followers of Jesus.
Peter’s denial took place outside in the courtyard. Inside the house, the terrible mistreatment of Jesus was underway.
Matthew 26:67-68
Then they spit in his face and struck him with their fists. Others slapped him and said, “Prophesy to us, Messiah. Who hit you?”
The angry religious leaders beat Jesus. Blood flowed from the cuts and bruises on His body, on His face. His clothes were stained with blood. There were many men in the room; they all seemed to want an opportunity to spit and hit Jesus. Their mocking words matched their abusive behavior. After brutalizing Jesus, He was tied up and led away to face another fake trial. The guards brought Him outside, where Peter was still waiting, where Peter faced another conversation.
Luke 22:59-61b
About an hour later another asserted, “Certainly this fellow was with him, for he is a Galilean.” Peter replied, “Man, I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Just as he was speaking, the rooster crowed. The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter.
The bloody, bruised face of Jesus looked at Peter. Jesus supernaturally knew that Peter was in the courtyard, for Peter had come after Jesus had been brought to trial. But Jesus knew where Peter was and what he had been doing, what he had been saying. In fact, Jesus had already told Peter what would happen hours earlier.
Luke 22:31-34
“Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift all of you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.” But he replied, “Lord, I am ready to go with you to prison and to death.” Jesus answered, “I tell you, Peter, before the rooster crows today, you will deny three times that you know me.”
Jesus knew before the denial happened and Jesus knew when the denial happened. God, in His sovereignty, allowed Jesus to walk by Peter at the exact moment of the third denial. Jesus did not say a word to the disciple, only looked at him. The face Peter had seen only hours earlier now had been marred by the brutal beating given by the religious leaders. The blood, the bruises, however, did not hide the eyes that looked straight at Peter.
Luke 22:61b-62
Then Peter remembered the word the Lord had spoken to him: “Before the rooster crows today, you will disown me three times.” And he went outside and wept bitterly.
Jesus looked at Peter; Peter’s eyes filled with tears. Jesus left for the next trial; Peter left for a solitary place to weep. Imagine the thoughts that raced through Peter’s head. He remembered the prophesy from Jesus earlier in the night, warning about the denials to come. Peter had foolishly responded that he would never deny Jesus, would even die for Jesus. Peter replayed the conversations from around the fire, the words of denial spoken aloud. Then, Peter, pictured again the beaten face of Jesus looking beyond the crowd, just to him. The pain, the shame overwhelmed Peter. His words felt like the end and he would have to live with the regret the rest of his life.
Three days later, another word was spoken to a group of women who came to the tomb of Jesus. The word was given to an angel who had a specific message for Peter.
Mark 16:6-7
“Don’t be alarmed,” he said. “You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid him. But go, tell his disciples and Peter, ‘He is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him, just as he told you.’”
Notice the words: “and Peter”.
Peter may have denied Jesus, but Jesus did not deny Peter. No matter what Peter had done, he was still included in what Jesus had already planned to do. Peter saw the bruised face of Jesus, but then he heard the message of Jesus that he would see Him again. Jesus will not look as He did, for now He would be in His resurrected body. Peter will not speak like he did, for now he would encounter the resurrected Christ. Everything had changed.
Our past does not stop the Lord’s plan in and through us. Before we sin, God already knew what we would do. The calling on our lives remain the same. For another prophecy, besides the one about his denial, had been given to Peter. As Peter acknowledged Jesus as Messiah, Jesus acknowledged Peter as a future leader of the church.
Matthew 16:16-18
Simon Peter answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.” Jesus replied, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by flesh and blood, but by my Father in heaven. And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it.
This prophecy began to be fulfilled on the day of Pentecost; following the death, resurrection, and ascension of Jesus to heaven. The one who denied Jesus in a small group, boldly preached to a large crowd.
Acts 2:14, 36, 41
Then Peter stood up with the Eleven, raised his voice and addressed the crowd: “Fellow Jews and all of you who live in Jerusalem, let me explain this to you; listen carefully to what I say… “Therefore let all Israel be assured of this: God has made this Jesus, whom you crucified, both Lord and Messiah.” Those who accepted his message were baptized, and about three thousand were added to their number that day.
Peter, the one who denied Jesus, became the bold proclaimer of Jesus, just as Jesus had prophesied. Jesus saw Peter in his failure, but He also saw Peter’s future success in serving God’s kingdom. Your past, whatever that piece of your life that you are so ashamed of, does not define your future ministry. The Lord saw your failure, the same failure He went to the cross for to provide forgiveness. Now, the resurrected Jesus reminds us of our call just as He reminded Peter of his call which remained intact even after the darkest moment of his life. Just like Jesus said, “…and Peter”, He also says our names, too. Everything has changed.
by Shannon Tillman | Apr 9, 2026 | Bible Study, Blog, Thoughts
I remember the teacher handed me back my high school science report. My grade was low. I saw that he wrote something on the top page about “referencing a project that I did not have.” I was thoroughly confused. My project had been turned in as well. I approached my teacher after class. I took him to my project that was placed under the table with some of the other students’ experiments. He apologized; he had completely missed it. The next day I received a corrected paper with my grade, the highest of all the students. That meant I could go to the county science fair (which seemed thrilling at the time). But my hopes were dashed because the teacher said, “I know the highest grade goes. However, Jana had the highest grade before I realized that I had missed your project under the table. She is so excited. I don’t want to take that from her. I’m sorry.” Sorry? What about me? I worked hard and now I cannot advance to the next level of science because the teacher was more sensitive to Jana’s feelings than mine?
I was devastated. However, I never told anyone in order to protect Jana and her journey. I remember I prayed and I felt that God let me know that Jana needed this and I did not. It was something for her. Maybe she ended up pursuing a science degree. I do not know; all I know is that something that was bad for me was good for her. God alone knows the reason why.
The same concept is true in a story about a captured slave girl who ministered out of her difficult situation to the very man who enslaved her.
2 Kings 5:1
Now Naaman was commander of the army of the king of Aram. He was a great man in the sight of his master and highly regarded, because through him the Lord had given victory to Aram. He was a valiant soldier, but he had leprosy.
Aram was an enemy nation of Israel. Naaman was the commander of this nation. His military success against Israel led to not only some people being killed but others being forced into slavery, never seeing their homeland again. One of these captured slaves was a young girl.
2 Kings 5:2
Now bands of raiders from Aram had gone out and had taken captive a young girl from Israel, and she served Naaman’s wife.
This girl could have chosen to resent her new masters. She could have mocked Naaman’s disease and thought it was a sign of judgment from God. She could have kept silent and not shared what she knew would help him. Instead, she chose to be kind, even to her enemy, and shared a source of healing for him.
2 Kings 5:3
She said to her mistress, “If only my master would see the prophet who is in Samaria! He would cure him of his leprosy.”
This young girl had faith. She believed for a healing of leprosy! She wanted her enemy to be delivered from his suffering. This girl would not have known about Naaman’s leprosy except for the fact that she had been taken captive and brought to serve his wife in their home. Her bad situation was setting up for his good. Upon hearing the news of a potential healing, Naaman chose to go see the prophet, Elisha. Naaman eventually obeyed the command of Elisha to dip in the Jordan river.
2 Kings 5:14
So he went down and dipped himself in the Jordan seven times, as the man of God had told him, and his flesh was restored and became clean like that of a young boy.
Naaman was healed, his skin fully restored. More importantly, his physical healing led to a greater spiritually awakening.
2 Kings 5:15a, 17b
Then Naaman and all his attendants went back to the man of God. He stood before him and said, “Now I know that there is no God in all the world except in Israel. ..please let me, your servant, be given as much earth as a pair of mules can carry, for your servant will never again make burnt offerings and sacrifices to any other god but the Lord.
Naaman, a pagan worshipper, became a follower of the one true God. The misfortune, the pain of a young servant girl was being orchestrated into a story to bring an Aram commander to salvation. Her bad situation would lead to Naaman’s good.
Sometimes, the difficulties we face are what brings others to the Lord. I used a silly example about the science project, but there have been other more painful circumstances that have been used for the transformation of others. Often in teaching, I give first hand accounts of difficulties I experienced in order to encourage others in their journey. That is working our pain for the good of others. The young girl’s temporary bondage led to Naaman’s eternal deliverance. Whatever hardship we are in, God will take it and bring eternal good out of it. We can trust Him even when it does not make sense. Sometimes we may not know the outcome, but we can trust that God will work it for good.
Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Only God knows how many people’s lives have been touched by Naaman’s story over the past 3000 years. His story only became eternal when one young girl’s misery became a ministry, even to her enemies. Our bad will be turned to good and the lives of others will be changed.
by Shannon Tillman | Mar 26, 2026 | Bible Study, Blog, Thoughts
She was a master manipulator. Others regarded her as sweet and charming, but there was venom hidden underneath. Unfortunately, I was already entangled in friendship and in ministry when I began to notice the red flags. It was too late. The ministry I dreamed of ended up being harmed by her treachery. I had to shut the doors on what I believed I had been called to do.
In the midst of the pain, I questioned the Lord. Through the healing process I learned that the Lord had allowed an enemy to teach me. I ignored warning signs and proceeded ahead, causing devastation that could have easily been avoided. Now I have learned the difficult lesson which will protect myself and others in future ministry and life endeavors.
The Lord allows the enemy to win in the short term to teach His children a lesson for life.
2 Kings 5:1
Now Naaman was commander of the army of the king of Aram. He was a great man in the sight of his master and highly regarded, because through him the Lord had given victory to Aram.
The nation of Aram was an enemy of Israel. Naaman, Aram’s commander, was in charge of military raids against the Hebrew people. There were citizens killed, others taken as slaves, people robbed, and families torn apart. Yet, it was the Lord who was giving victory to Aram over His people of Israel. God allowed the enemy to win! Why? Because of the idolatry in the land.
2 Kings 3:1-3
Joram son of Ahab became king of Israel in Samaria in the eighteenth year of Jehoshaphat king of Judah, and he reigned twelve years. He did evil in the eyes of the Lord, but not as his father and mother had done. He got rid of the sacred stone of Baal that his father had made. Nevertheless he clung to the sins of Jeroboam son of Nebat, which he had caused Israel to commit; he did not turn away from them.
Joram was king of Israel at this time. His father was Ahab, meaning his mother was Jezebel. They are regarded as the most wicked king and queen in Israel’s history. Joram took after his parents, just not as evil, but still evil. This caused the nation to continue in idolatry. Thus, Aram was allowed to have victory battles over Israel. There was a divine purpose behind the pain. The intention was to sound an alarm to the hearts of the people, to draw them away from their idols, to repent before God, and seek His help. The Lord’s allowance of the enemy’s victory was to lead the nation back to God.
The Lord uses this strategy in our lives as well. God allows us to see the futility of our ways in order for us to learn to choose His ways. He will allow us to experience consequences in order to help us to want to repent. He will allow failures in order to teach us better choices. The Lord does all of this out of His love for us.
Hebrews 12:5-6
And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says,“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”
The Lord is our Father. His discipline, even allowing the enemy to temporarily win, is to teach us, to grow us, to change us. His discipline proves His love toward us.
Hebrews 12:7-8, 11
Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all… No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
True sons and daughters, what discipline are you experiencing right now? Do not shun it! Instead, learn what your Father is teaching you. Are there idols you are turning to instead of Him? Lay the idols down. Are there repeat patterns that keep surfacing? Acknowledge the sin and repent. Out of love, the Father allows these circumstances to help you release what is not good and to embrace Him alone. God allows the enemy short-term wins in order for His children to have long-term, life-changing results. That is the Father’s love toward us.
by Shannon Tillman | Mar 19, 2026 | Bible Study, Blog, Thoughts
The list for prayer given to the prayer team has a multitude of requests for the physical body. From small ailments to surgeries to disease, there are precious petitions for healing. However, I have yet to see a prayer request to cure chronic sin although there is a verse in Scripture which shows the need for this type of healing as well.
Jeremiah 3:22a
“Return, faithless people; I will cure you of backsliding.”
Another Bible version states the verse in this manner:
“Return, O faithless sons, I will heal your faithlessness.”
The Lord is speaking to the nation of Israel. He wants to cure them of backsliding into sin, to heal them from their unfaithfulness. In essence, God does not just want the sin removed from our lives; He wants the root of the sin to be dealt with so that we are not prone to fall for the temptation again. How are we healed of faithlessness, of backsliding? A process of healing takes place when we deal with the reason why we choose the sin over God’s ways. The sin is the evidence pointing to a deep soul wound which chooses to salve itself temporarily with the false comfort of sin. The sin cycle keeps us from transformation and wholeness.
My heart’s cry is: Oh, God, heal me! I am faithless in my mind, wasting time replaying conversations or rewriting conversations in the way I wish they would have gone. I am faithless in avoiding difficult situations by going on my phone instead of choosing to pray. I am faithless in my frustration with God, wondering why my family’s lives are a mess and He has not intervened. I am faithless in carrying out the dreams in my heart because I live in crisis mode instead of a state of planning and preparing.
These are where I am faithless right now. I am sure more will be revealed in time. My list was even longer in the past as I had to work through pain from childhood. I can look at this list and still see trauma’s fingerprints on it. I so desire to please others that I want to say the right thing because I never felt like I pleased my family growing up. I go on my phone now, but as a child I would zone into a book pretending that I did not hear the argument taking place in another room. My frustration with God stems from years of unanswered prayers, causing me to believe the lie that I am forgotten or abandoned. I live in crisis mode because that is how I grew up and even though I hate it, sometimes it feels more comfortable.
Why am I sharing this? Because I want you to put in your area of unfaithfulness, your place of backsliding. Ask the Lord to show you why this is your area of struggle, the place of failure. The Lord knows the “why” behind your actions. Ask Him to heal the wound! God knows the misguided reasons we choose to sin. He understands. However, He does not excuse our behavior but gives us the promise for transformation.
The Lord promises to heal us of unfaithfulness. What a wonderful promise! God will heal us. All we have to do is come to Him.
Jeremiah 3:22b
“Behold, we come to You; For You are the LORD our God.”
How are we healed? First, we must acknowledge the area of backsliding. Next, we have to look to God instead of our sin. Then, we come to God. That means we no longer pretend the sin is not there, or no longer excuse our behavior, or no longer say it is “not that bad”. We do not have to try to clean ourselves up before coming. Instead, we come in the middle of the mess we are in. We look for God and recognize that He alone can help us change.
The Lord can transform us as His names in this verse reveal. We come to the LORD, Yahweh or Yehovah, which is the covenant name of God. In other words, we come to the One who we are in relationship with, the One who loves us. The Lord is God, which in Hebrew is “Elohim”, meaning the supreme God. We are coming to the One who is over our lives, the One in charge. He directs us into new paths, new responses, new ways of living. His names show His power and ability to save us from our unfaithfulness. With His love and power, He leads us into new life as He heals our backsliding. All we have to do is come.
Yes, Lord, heal us of our backsliding! This is our prayer request, one that You desire to readily answer in all of our lives.
