Called to Surrender

by Kevin Tillman | May 22, 2025 | Bible Study, Thoughts

“The man with a cross no longer controls his destiny; he lost control when he picked up his cross. That cross immediately became to him an all-absorbing interest, an overwhelming interference. No matter what he may desire to do, there is but one thing he can do; that is, move on toward the place of crucifixion.”

A.W. Tozer

The term “Christian” has lost so much of it’s power over the years. In many ways it has become a mere label for someone that is mildly spiritual and attends a worship service on occasion. But, being a Christian is far more than attendance, and some mental assent to a set of beliefs. It’s far more than doing good deeds and treating people kindly. Sure, those are great things, and we are indeed commanded to do so. But …

Christianity is about surrendering.

“The man with a cross no longer controls his destiny…”

When we follow Jesus we relinquish our rights. We live in a society that promotes self, personal ambition, and control. The message of the gospel stands in stark contrast.

Luke 9:23

Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.

These aren’t easy words. The first readers of Luke’s gospel would have completely understood the cross as being a symbol of death. A death that was public, very painful, and humiliating on top of that. Before Jesus died He had to carry His own cross to Calvary. It was a one way, dead end walk that was guaranteed to end in death. As we “take up our cross and follow Jesus”, we are giving up our rights. We have committed to a death walk. We can’t dictate our path, the cross determines it for us.

Practically for us, this means we don’t ask God to bless our ambitions. Instead we surrender and yield to His plan. We have to give up our false illusions of control. Does this come easy? Absolutely not. Is it a one time surrender? Jesus answers clearly by telling us it is “daily”. Everything in us wants to pursue self. To put it bluntly, we are selfish. That is our nature. But God’s plan is surrender.

“That cross immediately became to him an all-absorbing interest, an overwhelming interference.”

Once we pick up the cross, Tozer is asserting it should become our defining focus. It’s not some side gig or hobby. It’s not just an “add on” to our daily lives. It’s not some occasional religious duty we perform. The cross becomes everything. The cross isn’t just one compartment of our lives. The cross is our place of death. All our movements, all our decisions, all our relationships. All are absorbed by the cross. It is indeed an “interference”. It gets in the way of our choices.

“No matter what he may desire to do, there is but one thing he can do.”

As we continue living in this interference changes start happening. Our desires begin to change. Our decisions begin to change. It’s a holy interference. Denying self and taking up the cross goes against our selfish desires, but in time our entire identity starts changing. Pursuing Him becomes part of what we want to do. The things we once valued highly suddenly don’t seem as important. It’s a process, but it’s worth it.

Christianity isn’t just some set of principles. Jesus wasn’t just some prophet that gave some strong advice for living. We are called to die. This death can be hard and even humiliating. But, there’s life, real life on the other side.

Galatians 2:20

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Hated by Some, Loved by Others

by Shannon Tillman | May 15, 2025 | Bible Study, Thoughts

I am not made for politics.  I get upset when the candidates are not kind in their speeches during a debate.  I think they should get along and truly listen to one another.  Maybe they could even hug at the end or at least give a friendly high-five.  I would definitely make the other candidates uncomfortable and unsettled if the debate went my way.  My problem is I want others to like me.  I do not want to fight or even have a minor disagreement.  I would rather us eat popcorn together and laugh over silly stories.  In my little world, everybody should get along.

However, the truth is that not everyone is going to like us (even though I think we are amazing!)  When we live for the acceptance of others, we remove our focus from God’s acceptance and calling over our lives.   We can do everything “right” and still be “wrong” in the eyes of some.

Mordecai, whose story is found in the book of Esther, exemplifies someone consistently doing what was right.  He raised an orphan cousin by the name of Esther.  He gave her wise counsel in protecting her Jewish heritage so she would not be targeted by prejudice in the royal courts.  When Esther became queen, Mordecai still checked on his adopted child to ensure her well-being.  When a murderous plot came against the king, Mordecai informed Esther so that the king’s life was spared.  Mordecai refused to bow down to an evil man named Haman and was willing to risk his life in doing such a noble deed.  Besides all of that, it was Mordecai who encouraged Esther to risk her life to save her people from the murderous plot by Haman that would have wiped out every Jew in the entire kingdom.  Mordecai wrote letters to help the Jews so that they were able to defeat the enemy.  These actions are still celebrated thousands of years later during the Jewish holiday of Purim.  Mordecai had remarkable achievements including being promoted to the highest-ranking official in the kingdom.

Esther 10:3

Mordecai the Jew was second in rank to King Xerxes, preeminent among the Jews, and held in high esteem by his MANY fellow Jews, because he worked for the good of his people and spoke up for the welfare of all the Jews. (emphasis mine)

Did you catch that?  Mordecai was held in high esteem by “many” fellow Jews, but not all.  This a reminder that you can do everything right and still have relatives or others not esteem you.  Mordecai saved a nation of people, helped rule an empire, championed rights for the Jews and yet some did not respect him.

In our lives, we will experience those who do not like us.  However, if we live trying to gain their approval, we are not living for the approval of God.

Galatians 1:10

Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.

We cannot serve the Lord and please people at the same time.  Not everyone is going to like us along the way, but that is not the goal for our lives.  To make an eternal impact, we must do what is right, which is accepted by some and not by others.  We must choose to live for God alone.

Simple Directions

by Shannon Tillman | May 8, 2025 | Bible Study, Thoughts

I cannot follow instructions.  When there is an item that needs to be assembled, I stare blankly at the directions.  I had my nine-year-old niece put together a baby basinet because I could not figure it out.  I knew the baby would be safer with her assembly than mine.  We did not tell her mother about it for years!

I need directions simplified.  Jesus makes life easy.  Every decision, every action, every word choice, every relationship can be evaluated by two simple commands.  These instructions were originally given in the Old Testament.  Jesus takes them to summarize how to evaluate every aspect of our lives.

Mark 12:28b-31

…“Of all the commandments, which is the most important?” “The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”

Love God and love others.  It is all about Him and them.  Think through decisions, behaviors, choices, words, time, money, relationships.  Put them in the context of loving God and loving others.  Are we obeying the commands of love?  If not, what changes need to be made so that we are following these instructions?  If we are violating the commands of love, then we need to confess this sin, repent, and choose to do whatever it takes to obey the directive of love.

I do want to make a note that love is hinged with truth.  Sometimes, we separate the two and treat love as an all encompassing “free pass” for others to harm us.  Love has boundaries.  God loved the nation of Israel, yet He left them to the consequences of their sin by allowing nations to oppress them and even take them into captivity.  Love is not about rescuing those who do not want to be rescued, or incurring mistreatment from those who refuse to change.

That is why we are to love our neighbor as ourselves.  We need to recognize our value and show concern for our own well-being.  To be emotionally whole leads us to love others effectively.  From the love we have for ourselves, which is rooted in the love God has for us, we can then love others.  Maybe the first question for some of us should be, “Do I love myself?”  If we are struggling with that love, then it is time to ask the Father to show us how to love ourselves, so we can truly love others.

I challenge all of us today to evaluate these two commands (by the way, they are not suggestions).  “Do I love God?  Do I love others as myself?  Where am I violating these commands of love?”  As God reveals to us areas that must change; may our love for God, love for others, and love for ourselves compel us to do whatever it takes to be transformed into a life of love.  Jesus gave simple directions:  Love God and love others as yourself.  May each of us follow those instructions today to build a community of love.

Obey Afraid

by Shannon Tillman | Apr 24, 2025 | Bible Study, Thoughts

I was terrified when I stood in front of the crowd.  It was my first speaking engagement as a volunteer with Voice of the Martyrs, an organization that supports the persecuted church around the world.  The subject matter was not only heavy, but the crowd made me extremely nervous.  I was staring at over two hundred second graders!  Children will let you know if they like your teaching or not.  My microphone was shaking violently in my hand.  My palms started having a strange itching sensation.  How did I get here?

It began months earlier when I read a Voice of the Martyrs magazine.  There was a call for volunteers to speak at different places to raise awareness of the persecuted church.  The western church is often oblivious to the plights of our brothers and sisters in Christ around the world.  More people have died for their faith in the last one hundred years than all of the last two thousand years combined!  Immediately, I knew God wanted me to volunteer.  Every part of my soul cried out “no”.  The thought of speaking in front of others, especially on such a painful subject, seemed impossible.  Yet, how could I say “no” when my brothers and sisters in Christ were willing to obey God even if the decision cost them pain, imprisonment, torture, and even death.  I gave a reluctant “yes” and submitted my paper work and went through the training.

I think of this testimony as I read about the women who went to the tomb after the death of Jesus.  They, too, had to obey even while afraid.  After the nightmare of seeing Jesus crucified a few days before, they sorrowfully went to the tomb after the Sabbath.  When they arrived, they found the stone had been rolled away from the grave.  An angel told them what had happened.

Matthew 28:5-8

The angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. Then go quickly and tell his disciples: ‘He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.’ Now I have told you.”So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples. 

They were afraid, yet they obeyed the angel’s directions to go to the disciples and tell them the glorious news.  Obedience is not always done with confidence.  Obedience can be done afraid.  We must not believe the lie that we should “feel like” it before obeying.  When we receive a directive from the Lord, we must do as we are told.  Our emotions should not dictate or delay our actions.

The women were afraid in their obedience, but also filled with joy.  Their fear was mixed with excitement of the news.  God sent an angel to talk to them and tell them about the resurrection of Jesus!  The Lord so desired for them to know what had happened with Jesus and to know what to do next, that He sent a heavenly messenger to earth to intersect with their lives.

By the way, we have more than what the women did.  The women had an angel give them the news.  Now, we have the Holy Spirit of the living God dwelling within us!  When He gives us direction, even when it seems difficult or frightening, we can have the joy of knowing that God is leading us, God is with us, and God will help us in whatever He calls us to do.  Even in the fear, there is the joy of obedience and the joy of His presence.  When we obey, even if we are afraid, we receive a greater revelation of Jesus.

Matthew 28:9

Suddenly Jesus met them. “Greetings,” he said. They came to him, clasped his feet and worshiped him. 

Jesus showed up on the path the women were taking.  The women saw the resurrected Lord!  If the women had disobeyed and gone in a different direction, they would have missed meeting with Jesus.  Obedience leads to encountering Jesus in new and unexpected ways.

Matthew 28:10a

Then Jesus said to them, “Do not be afraid…

The women were still afraid.  Even in obedience, even in worship, we can still be afraid in the midst of our circumstances.  Jesus gently repeated the words that the angel had spoken to them earlier, “Do not be afraid”.  However, this time Jesus changed the words of the angel.  The angel had told the women:

Matthew 28:7a

Then go quickly and tell his DISCIPLES: ‘He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.’  (emphasis mine)

But Jesus said:

Matthew 28:10b

“Go and tell my BROTHERS to go to Galilee; there they will see me.” (emphasis mine)

Jesus called them brothers, not disciples.  A disciple is a student, a pupil, a learner.  However, a brother is family.  Jesus changed the definition of their relationship.  Our obedience leads to a deepening of our understanding of the loving connection we have with Jesus.

Jesus affirmed the promise that they would see Him in Galilee.  Once the women shared the news, the disciples had the choice whether they would obey even while afraid.

Matthew 28:16-17a

Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. When they saw him, they worshiped him…

Thankfully, the disciples, the ones Jesus called brothers, obeyed and went to Galilee.  Jesus showed up just as He promised.  When we obey, Jesus shows up for us as well.

Jesus showed up for me in front of a crowd of children.  I began my presentation, one mixed with cultural games, missionary awareness, and explanations of the persecuted church on a level they could grasp.  The week went wonderfully, even though I must admit that I almost threw up every day before speaking.  The camp asked me back each year until I finally had to step away from volunteering with Voice of the Martyrs due to other commitments.  I was broken-hearted to leave.  What started as a shaky “yes” because I was so afraid, ended with a glorious testimony of God transforming a fear-filled gal to one who loved speaking in front of crowds of all sizes and ages.  Obedience, even when afraid, leads us into our destiny.  I encourage today, obey, even if you must obey afraid.

The Crushed Worm

by Shannon Tillman | Apr 17, 2025 | Bible Study, Thoughts

Have you known something and then realized you know nothing all at the same time?  That is how I felt today when I read Psalm 22.  I have studied this Psalm numerous times.  However, I was struck anew by one verse, wondering about the purpose of its use of the word “worm”.

Psalm 22:6

But I am a worm and not a man, scorned by everyone, despised by the people.

This verse is in the midst one of the most detailed Messianic passages in the Old Testament.  David, who wrote this song, graphically depicts the crucifixion of Jesus almost a thousand years before His death.

Psalm 22:14-16

Dogs surround me, a pack of villains encircles me; they pierce my hands and my feet. All my bones are on display; people stare and gloat over me. They divide my clothes among them and cast lots for my garment.

These painful words are fulfilled at the crucifixion of Jesus as described in the gospels.

Luke 23:32-35

Two other men, both criminals, were also led out with him to be executed. When they came to the place called the Skull, they crucified him there, along with the criminals—one on his right, the other on his left. Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”  And they divided up his clothes by casting lots. The people stood watching, and the rulers even sneered at him. They said, “He saved others; let him save himself if he is God’s Messiah, the Chosen One.”

In the midst of the crucifixion description in Psalm 22, David described the feeling of the Messiah as being like a worm and not like a man.  In general, the word picture would describe feeling insignificant or worthless.  However, the Hebrew adds another layer to the description.  The word that is used here depicts a specific type of worm.  This worm was crushed in ancient times to produce a dye for thread and fabric.  The color the crushed worm produced was crimson.

The word for “worm” as translated in Psalm 22:6 is transliterated as the Hebrew word “tola”.  The word “tola” was used multiple times in the book of Exodus to describe the color “crimson”.  This color of thread was used in forming pieces of the Tabernacle, which was the precursor to the temple that was built in Jerusalem.  Crimson threads were woven into the tabernacle curtains.  The High Priest himself wore a design interlaced with crimson on his outer garment. Crimson was also a part of the veil which separated the Most Holy Place, or the Holy of Holies, from the rest of the Tabernacle.  It was here that the ark of the covenant was set.  The High Priest was allowed to enter this space only one day a year.  Worms had to be crushed to create the dye that would be woven into the holy tabernacle of God, the holy clothing of the High Priest, as well as the curtain of the Holy of Holies.

In the Old Testament, we also find that the color of crimson is used as a word picture to describe the sins of people.

Isaiah 1:18

“Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the Lord. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as CRIMSON, they shall be like wool.” (emphasis mine)

On the cross, Jesus became the crushed worm.  His crimson blood spilt out.  This blood became the covering for our sin.  The tabernacle, as constructed by Moses, was covered by curtains that had scarlet thread, which would be a picture of the blood of Jesus.  His blood is our covering.  We are made clean because He was crushed.

Isaiah 53:5

But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.

The crushing of the worm led to beauty as a master craftsman made a crimson dye.  The crushing of Jesus led to beauty as God crafted a way for us to be in relationship with Him through the blood of Jesus.

Colossians 1:21-22

Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior.  But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation— 

Not only is Jesus our Savior, He also became our High Priest.  Remember the crimson dye was also on the High Priest’s garments.  This color on the holy clothing foreshadowed our ultimate High Priest being Jesus Himself.

Hebrews 4:14

Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. 

The High Priest would access the Most Holy Place by entering through the veil to access the ark, which was the mercy seat of God.

Exodus 26:33

Hang the curtain from the clasps and place the ark of the covenant law behind the curtain. The curtain will separate the Holy Place from the Most Holy Place. 

This veil was hung in the temple in Jerusalem.  The fabric’s measurements were sixty feet high, thirty feet wide, and four inches thick.  This curtain is mentioned at the death of Jesus.

Matthew 27:50-51a

And when Jesus had cried out again in a loud voice, he gave up his spirit. At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom.

 The curtain was torn!  We are no longer separated from God; we now have access to the Most Holy Place.  We can be in relationship with the Lord, because Jesus died on our behalf.  He became low so that we may be lifted up.

Psalm 22:6a

But I am a worm and not a man…

What seemed an insignificant, shameful time became the defining moment of all of history.  The crucifixion of Jesus paved the way for people to obtain salvation from sins, relationship with God, and even experience eternal life as David proclaims in this psalm.

Psalm 22:26b

…those who seek the Lord will praise him— may your hearts live forever!

David ends his psalm celebrating the victory the “crushed worm” achieved for the generations.

Psalm 22:30-31

Posterity will serve him; future generations will be told about the Lord. They will proclaim his righteousness, declaring to a people yet unborn: He has done it!

Jesus, the crimson worm, became the Savior of the world!  We proclaim what He has done today and His salvation message will be told forever.  What the Old Testament foreshadowed; He fulfilled.  Jesus was crushed so that we may be saved!  He has done it!  Halleluiah!