by Shannon Tillman | Oct 2, 2023 | Thoughts
My husband Kevin and I went to watch our friends’ sons play a soccer game. At the end of the match, I went up to one of the teenagers and congratulated him. He asked me why, so I confidently told him, “Because you won the game.”
His response shocked me, “Ms. Shannon, we lost.” As a competitor it would already be difficult to lose a game, however, my comment only made the matter much worse. Evidently, I was the only person in that crowd who did not know about the team’s loss. Unfortunately, my husband could not rescue me in time before I made my blunder. Kevin saw the opponent’s goals because he paid attention to the game.
How did I miss the goals the other team scored? For one, the opponent’s goalie distracted me. He wore a soccer uniform the color of Pepto Bismol, bright pink from head to toe. Questions raced through my mind. Where do you find knee socks that color pink? Does that uniform glow in the dark? Did he know it would be that shade of pink or did he order it on-line and it seemed a bit more subdued? Beyond pondering soccer uniforms, I chatted quite a bit with parents in the crowd. Instead of fully watching the game before me, I allowed conversations to distract me. Lastly, I did not engage with the events on the soccer field because every little thing lately has been reminding me of a very difficult situation in my own life. My thoughts have been consumed by my own personal pain and loss, instead of being fully present in the moment and seeing what others before me are experiencing.
It is easy to be distracted in life. We get caught up in our own thoughts, emotions, and agendas. However, this keeps us from seeing the possible moments of ministry to others. I went from cheering on students at a game, to making a defeat even more awkward afterwards. Unintentionally, my focus on my personal pain caused me to hurt another.
In the book of Genesis, we find another whose overwhelming pain caused heartache to others. Jacob felt distracted by his own pain, loss, and grief. Jacob fathered twelve sons but his favorite was son number eleven, Joseph. His older brothers felt extreme jealousy of Joseph so they sold him into slavery. Then they used false evidence of a bloody coat to convince Jacob that his precious son had died. Little did he know that through a series of events over the span of around twenty years, Joseph went from a lowly house slave to second in command of all of Egypt.
Jacob still resided in Canaan and during this time a terrible famine struck the land. Jacob sent his ten oldest sons to buy food in the land of Egypt, while keeping the youngest with him at home. The sons ended up in the presence of Joseph even though they did not know the identity of this royal official. Joseph, however, instantly recognized his brothers and asked questions about the family. The brothers told Joseph about their younger brother and father. In a desperate plan to see if his brothers had changed, Joseph imprisoned Simeon until all the brothers returned to Egypt. Nine of the brothers returned to Egypt. Sadly, Jacob in his grief and fear of losing another son did not let the brothers return, thus leaving Simeon in jail. Months dragged by and eventually the time came for the purchase of more provisions for the family. Let’s pick up the story in Genesis 43.
Now the famine was still severe in the land. So when they had eaten all the grain they had brought from Egypt, their father said to them, “Go back and buy us a little more food.”
But Judah said to him, “The man warned us solemnly, ‘You will not see my face again unless your brother is with you.’ If you will send our brother along with us, we will go down and buy food for you. But if you will not send him, we will not go down, because the man said to us, ‘You will not see my face again unless your brother is with you.’”
Israel asked, “Why did you bring this trouble on me by telling the man you had another brother?”
They replied, “The man questioned us closely about ourselves and our family. ‘Is your father still living?’ he asked us. ‘Do you have another brother?’ We simply answered his questions. How were we to know he would say, ‘Bring your brother down here’?”
Once again, Simeon is still in prison in Egypt! Jacob in his pain and distress is not paying attention to the pressing needs of others. He is focused only on his pain and his fear of more potential loss in the future. His delay caused an emergency situation for the rest of the family as well.
Then Judah said to Israel his father, “Send the boy along with me and we will go at once, so that we and you and our children may live and not die.
Here is a matter of life and death, yet Jacob ignored the needs of everyone around him, as well as his son still in prison because of the grief in his heart. Eventually, he was forced to take action but he still focused on his personal pain, completely oblivious to those in desperate situations around him.
Take your brother also and go back to the man at once. And may God Almighty grant you mercy before the man so that he will let your other brother and Benjamin come back with you. As for me, if I am bereaved, I am bereaved.” So the men took the gifts and double the amount of silver, and Benjamin also. They hurried down to Egypt and presented themselves to Joseph.
Upon this second visit to Egypt, Joseph released Simeon from prison and revealed his true identity to his brothers. A family torn apart experienced a joyous reunion. All of this could have taken place earlier if only Jacob had chosen to respond to the needs of those around him instead of focusing solely on his own grief.
We all hurt. We all suffer terribly. We need to work through our pain, not deny or suppress it. However, sometimes helping others during our difficult times, can help us find restoration in our own hearts and lives. Jacob would have been reunited with Joseph earlier if he had chosen to look up from his own pain and took action to help others.
One of my favorite examples of someone who looked past their grief to minister to others would be Corrie Ten Boom. Her entire family died in Nazi concentration camps during World War II. Yet, after the war, she did not retreat into her own pain. Instead, she traveled throughout Europe promoting the gospel message, showing people how to accept and give God’s forgiveness. Thousands of lives were transformed by her story. She chose to focus on others, to see them healed and whole from their own tragic loss and pain, instead of wallowing in her own grief.
Lives are impacted by our response to pain, for the good or the bad. We can choose to look down at our own pain or to look up to minister to others. For me, it may be a small decision to fully pay attention to a soccer game, to think of those players out there and what they are doing instead of the painful thoughts bombarding my mind. Next time, I will hope for their win but if there is a loss, I will console the team! My response will match their need compared to showing an obvious deficit in my own heart. But to be completely honest, I still may be a little distracted by the pink goalie outfit!
by Shannon Tillman | Aug 21, 2023 | Theology
It was not supposed to be a big deal. It was not a hurricane, just a series of storms. Yet for the first time that I recall, they closed the road out of my grandparents’ neighborhood. I was trapped. All I could do was wonder about how my place was faring in the bad weather. I was stuck for over 24 hours. As I made my way carefully back home, I discovered that my entire house flooded. Every room had somewhere between eight to twelve inches of water. I found out later that the pump across the street stopped working. The backed-up drains caused water and sewer to pour into the house. The stench was unbearable.
I lost almost everything I own.
As I dug through the remains of what were once my valuables, I was reminded of my family’s favorite song, Blessed be Your Name by Matt Redman:
You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name
I felt the Lord say, “Shannon, you sing this song but will you live the lyrics?” I looked in the faces of my family, who had just arrived for a vacation in “sunny Florida”. They were now helping me go through a mess of sewer water-stained items, attempting to salvage what could be saved and documenting what was lost. This was my opportunity to live what we love to sing. I reviewed the story of Job with my little niece and said, “God is still good. We will trust Him. Job lost everything, but I still have you. Job praised God and said, “The Lord gives and takes away, blessed be the Name of the Lord. We shall do the same.”
It is not easy. We cried over the Christmas ornaments which I had received every year since birth from family members. They used to decorate my tree with their bright colors but now some of them looked more like mush. The most painful part was the prayer journals and Bible studies that I had saved since I was in junior high. The blurred pages blurred more with my tears as my hopes to pass them on were literally washed away. Some of the pictures from over the years were now stuck together and others had smeared leaving blurred images where once smiles reminded me of better times. The items brought back a host of memories, which is all I have left, since most of them will be placed into the dumpster.
I recall a book I read called Fear No Evil by Brady Boyd, a pastor in Colorado. (I would directly quote the book for you, however, the book is now in the trash and I will not go dumpster diving in sewer water stuff!) Pastor Boyd discussed with his church that he would no longer sing the lyrics of worship songs unless he could honestly attest in his heart that he was living them. How often I have just freely sang without truly living the message behind the words! I no longer want to do so.
In the midst of sewer water, in the midst of the stench, in the midst of loss, I will join with Job who:
…arose and tore his robe and shaved his head, and he fell to the ground and worshiped. He said, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, And naked I shall return there. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away.
Blessed be the name of the Lord.” Through all this Job did not sin nor did he blame God.
(Job 1:20-22)
Yes, Lord, blessed be Your Name…even in sewer water!
by Shannon Tillman | Aug 7, 2023 | Bible Study
Parents know the way a phrase is said is as important as the words spoken. Children (and adults) can say “I’m sorry” with true repentance or with complete sarcasm. The heart behind the words is as important as the words themselves.
When I was little, I learned to control my tone of voice but would still put my parents down in my head. I would say the right thing but would think what is wrong. For example, I would say “I’m sorry” but then I would finish the sentence in my head “that you are wrong and mean and horrible.” (what every child thinks of their parents!) So, my true heart was saying “I’m sorry that you are wrong and mean and horrible” but my words “I’m sorry” sounded so sweet and true. Or “I think you are right” but in my head think “about nothing at all.” I learned to say what they wanted to hear, with the tone they expected, but my heart was far from repentance. (By the way, do not try this in your home. I was a trained professional of ways to get out of trouble with my parents but it still left me in trouble with God.)
I thought I had invented this trick but came to find out Judas was an expert in this fake words game. Sadly, I must admit, he and I had similar motivations and similar distortions.
Now when evening came, Jesus was reclining at the table with the twelve disciples. As they were eating, He said, “Truly I say to you that one of you will betray Me.” Being deeply grieved, they each one began to say to Him, “Surely not I, Lord?” And He answered, “He who dipped his hand with me in the bowl is the one who will betray Me. The Son of Man is to go, just as it is writing of Him, but woe to that man by whom the Son of Man is betrayed! It would have been good for that man if he had not been born. And Judas, who was betraying Him, said, “Surely it is not I, Rabbi? Jesus said to him, “You have said it yourself.”
Matthew 26:20-25
Jesus has just proclaimed a betrayer in their midst. Stunned the disciples began to ask the Lord if they were the ones who would do so. Amazingly it is in their question that the betrayer is revealed. Eleven disciples called Jesus “Lord.” Only Judas titled Him “Rabbi”. The term “Lord” implies master or leader. The term “Rabbi” means teacher. Judas had delegated Jesus simply as a teacher, a common guy, just like everyone else. Judas missed the divinity of Jesus.
Whenever we lower God into our own image, we justify our actions, justify our sins.
by Shannon Tillman | Jul 24, 2023 | Bible Study
My mind is still reeling from the all of the national tragedies over the last several years. The pictures on the news are horrendous. The pain of those suffering is unbearable. Lives were lost in an instant. And for those who survived, their bodies bear the marks.
I know that often during these disasters, people began to question the goodness of God. After the a shooting several years back, I had a family member remark “It makes one wonder if there could be a God when things like this happen”. As one of the few Christians in my family, I had little words to say back to her. Sure I could have gotten into a debate, but my heart, too, was aching with the questions of “why”. I could still find hope in the character of God but my relative did not have that to rely on. My words would have done little to change her opinion in the face of such horrendous and senseless crime which took so many lives.
For centuries, people have debated the existence of God in the midst of evil. I am not about to engage in that argument here for brilliant minds have tackled this subject and my feeble mind could not do the discussion justice. However, my heart longs for a response to these tragedies. I believe the writer of Hebrews provides that response:
Remember the prisoners, as though in prison with them, and those who are ill-treated, since you yourselves also are in the body.
Hebrews 13:3
The writer of Hebrews was not referring to the prison ministry we think of today, a ministry that reaches out to those who have committed criminal acts. However, this verse was referring to believers who were put in jail because of their faith in Jesus Christ. They were suffering from the brutality of an unjust government. A number of them would have been tortured. Others would have starved unless those outside of prison brought them food. Some would even have faced gruesome executions.
What are we called to do in the face of the suffering of others? Enter theological debates about the goodness of God versus evil? No! We are called to remember them as we would want to be remembered. If I was in prison, I would want others to pray for me, to visit me, to bring me food, to petition authorities for my release, to bring medications to treat my torture wounds, to minister to me in any way they could. Bottom line: I would want to be remembered. I would not want to be forgotten in my painful circumstances.
In the face of these national tragedies, we must remember those as we would want to be remembered. What would you want someone to do for you in your time of tragedy? Do that for them. Remember them.
For those who are in direct contact with the people suffering, they will be able to do more for them to help them during this time of need. But what about those of us who do not know them and have no contact with the people involved?
As I have pondered this verse in context of these horrific situations, I have come up with some things I would want:
- Prayer – Real prayer. Not the “God help them prayer” but people truly interceding on my behalf.
- Contact – Cards or e-mails filled with encouragement and support
- Funds – Money to help with medical bills, counseling, loss of work time, recovery, learning a new way of life, possible legal fees, taking care of my family, etc.
We are called to do more than watch the news. There are certainly other ways we can get involved than just these three. The point is: we must remember those who suffer and remember them in their time of need. In so doing, lives are touched and impacted without having to say a word, without having to discuss God’s role when evil takes place. I am not called to a debate; I am called to make a difference. In the process of making a difference, I answer the debate. For in remembering others, the heart of God is shown to those who are suffering from the effects of evil.
Although it is the wide-scale tragedies which make the news, suffering is all around us. There may be those near you who also need to be “remembered”. As you minister to them in their time of pain, as you bring God’s heart near to their hearts, you will fulfill the second greatest commandment:
You shall love your neighbor as yourself.
Matthew 22:39 b
Remember them as you would want to be remembered.
by Shannon Tillman | Jul 10, 2023 | Bible Study
Have you ever been to a prayer meeting? I have been to a number of them in my days. There have been prayer requests from Aunt Martha’s bunion on her left big toe to serious requests for needed intervention. I will be honest, sometimes I have been attentive to joining others in prayer and other times my mind has been preoccupied with pulling lint off my sweater. (I am easily distracted.)
Not too long ago, I was awakened to a prayer request made by Jesus. It was a passage of Scripture that I had read many times. In fact, I had read it too many times but never really paid attention to what the words were saying to me. One day, I was reviewing a lesson that I had prepared for a group of highly energized elementary-aged children as well as their over-worked college camp counselors. That was when I was struck by these well-known, often-quoted verses that I probably have heard dozens of times while picking lint off my sweater:
Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness. When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.”
(Matthew 9:35-38)
Did you catch that last sentence? Jesus is sharing His prayer request. In the middle of Martha’s bunion and the upcoming surgery list Jesus raises His hand in prayer meeting and shares, “Please ask God for workers.” What kind of workers? Those who see the needs around them and respond to them. That kind of worker.
Often, the only time I hear these verses is when there is a call for missionaries to a foreign field. I am not criticizing their use at those times. However, Jesus made this prayer request in His home nation, while looking at His own countrymen. I think it is easier for us to want someone to get the “call” for over there, far from here, in a land far, far away (like in another galaxy). Yet, we forget the call is for us today right where we are.
The morning I was studying the lesson in which these verses leapt of the page, was the day I was teaching a group of elementary children that they ARE missionaries. Not that one day they will be missionaries. But today, in their homes, in their schools, on the playgrounds, on the sport teams; they are missionaries. If you are a believer in Christ, then you are on mission with Christ. And Jesus is saying:
“Look around you. There are people hurting. They need people to reach out to them. Pray for more people to see themselves as the answer to My prayer request.”
My elementary missionaries were taught a cheer to remind them of the truth of their commission in Christ:
Who’s a missionary? I’m a missionary. You’re a missionary. We’re the missionaries of God.
I needed that cheer more than they did. I needed to be reminded that it is not about me going to a remote village in Africa to answer the prayer of Jesus. I can be worker right where I am at for the harvest is plentiful here. I know of those who are:
…harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.
But I know the Shepherd. And He has called this sheep to go to the other sheep who need to know the Shepherd. Dear sheep, Jesus has called you as well. Answer His prayer request. Be a worker in whatever city you are in. For every place on earth is the Lord’s harvest field.
