I hate confrontation. Actually, I tried to write I “dislike” confrontation but did not
think that word was strong enough to explain my emotions. I hate it.
Unfortunately, I have made many compromises in my life in attempts to avoid it.
I have also suffered drastic consequences for not speaking up when I should have
done so. Unfortunately, I can relate to Israel’s most evil king, a man named
Ahab. He also did not speak up or do the right thing when it was in his power to
act.
Ahab was a military expert but a failed husband and father. Despite miraculous
military conquests enabled by the Lord, Israel’s king, Ahab, continued to allow his
wife, the infamous Jezebel, to expand her evil religious domain in Israel. Not only
did Ahab not confront her, he eventually joined her wickedness as she expanded
demon worship throughout the kingdom. Although Ahab would receive counsel
from God’s prophets, he ultimately allowed the choices of Jezebel to prevail.
1 Kings 16:29-33
In the thirty-eighth year of Asa king of Judah, Ahab son of Omri became king of
Israel, and he reigned in Samaria over Israel twenty-two years. Ahab son of Omri
did more evil in the eyes of the Lord than any of those before him. He not only
considered it trivial to commit the sins of Jeroboam son of Nebat, but he also
married Jezebel daughter of Ethbaal king of the Sidonians, and began to serve
Baal and worship him. He set up an altar for Baal in the temple of Baal that he
built in Samaria. Ahab also made an Asherah pole and did more to arouse the
anger of the Lord, the God of Israel, than did all the kings of Israel before him.
Although the king would worship Baal, Ahab wanted the Lord to help during
military battles.
1 Kings 20:1, 10, 13, 21
Now Ben-Hadad king of Aram mustered his entire army. Accompanied by thirty-
two kings with their horses and chariots, he went up and besieged Samaria and
attacked it… Then Ben-Hadad sent another message to Ahab: “May the gods deal with me, be
it ever so severely, if enough dust remains in Samaria to give each of my men a
handful.”… Meanwhile a prophet came to Ahab king of Israel and announced, “This is what
the Lord says: ‘Do you see this vast army? I will give it into your hand today, and
then you will know that I am the Lord.’”… The king of Israel advanced and overpowered the horses and chariots and inflicted
heavy losses on the Arameans.
Although the Lord proved time and again that He was God alone, Ahab wavered
between victory on the battlefield and defeat at home. Ahab did not care about
the spirituality of his family. As long as Ahab had kingdom victories, he did not
exert energy to ensure spiritual victories in his family. His wife and children could
serve idols as long as his “ministry”, his work, his fights were won.
I feel like this too often defines Christian families. We neglect obvious issues in
the home. Sometimes, more energy is expended to address “kingdom” issues
instead of dealing with problems in our families. We are conquering the world in
God’s name while avoiding confrontation in the family. If those like Ahab do care,
then they are not willing to risk the argument that would ensue by confronting
and tearing down the idols in the home. We are so bold for the kingdom, yet so
weak in our homes.
I knew of a minister whose children were evidently wounded from problems in
the home. When the situation was addressed, most church members ignored the
issue, deciding to look the other way. A growing church was more important than
broken children. The minister rejected help and turned the loving confrontation
into a violent attack on those who spoke up. The dysfunction continued. Ahabs
and Jezebels continue today. They have kingdom victories while idols in the home
destroy the families. The church celebrates the victory and looks away at the
evident dysfunction, issues, in other words sin, to the detriment of the children.
Deciding to not deal with idols, with strongholds, with sins in one generation can
lead to devastating consequences later on. One of the daughters of Ahab
murdered others in order to gain the throne in Judah:
2 Kings 11:1
When Athaliah the mother of Ahaziah saw that her son was dead, she proceeded
to destroy the whole royal family.
Athaliah expanded her control by force. Her mother, Jezebel, murdered as well in
order to get what she wanted. When we do not deal with our sins, it can lead to
brutal sins in the next generation.
We must take drastic action in our lives for the sake of future generations. We
need to stand in authority, cast out family idols, and lead our family in the
worship of the Lord. But to do this, we must evaluate ourselves, to ask the Lord
to show us what we value more than Him. Whatever or whoever is placed first in
our lives is an idol. That idol cannot be dealt with gently but must be cast down.
Radical effort is necessary for radical change. Future generations will be blessed
by the effort exerted to restore the Lord as the King of your house.